Also see An addendum to Self-Love for more information.
For some self-love seems a given yet for many others self-love just seems to be an unknown. There is no substitute for self-love. This one attribute is a corner-stone of spiritual growth and will inhibit us from finding the relationship we want. If we can’t love ourselves how will we love another? It’s easier to look outside of us for love which is why most of humanity searches for love in someone else to fill the feeling of incompleteness. This has become accepted as where to look for love yet, why is it so elusive? Like everything else love is to be found within us but for many it seems blocked by many forms of self-judgment.
Make no mistake the path to spiritual growth, knowing, self-empowerment and Mastery all pass through our doorway of Self-Love early in the journey. There is a great deal to learn in spirituality yet we are very limited as to how far we can go without learning self-love.
In looking for a special relationship with another person to hold as our lover we are limited without knowing self-love. How do we give love to another if we’re unable to love ourselves first? We each have our own self-love doorway. All too often this doorway seems unused if not locked. This doorway must be opened allowing love and compassion to flow through us from Divine sources. The doorway of self-love also is our portal to receive love as well as give love.
Opening our self-love portal requires effort to clear the past from blocking our access to it. There isn’t a magic wand to instantly remove the many incarnations of misunderstanding nor is there a new-age clearing process or technique to do it while we sit back and listen. In Light of this we’re called to use a well-known process of standing in front of a mirror. We look into our own eyes saying “I love you” and meaning it to as great a level as possible. Many find resistance to doing this which is understandable but then this is why the process is so valuable, that resistance is what we want to clear. As we continue doing this the resistance will subside as the obstruction is cleared. Continue this no matter how long it takes, a week, a month, a year, it will pay off. Eventually we find it easy to say “I love you” and meaning it. When this occurs our doorway to self-love is open allowing us to honor our own Divinity by loving ourselves.
This is the first and a very important step to give and receive love from others. We’ll still need to work with the Ego, judgment and trust but those are easier to overcome when we love ourselves.